The Problem with “Never Give Up”

Since high school, I’ve always loved collecting inspirational and motivational quotes. They were my little lifelines, especially during exam season. And if you’ve ever experienced the academic intensity of an Asian school system, you know exactly what I mean—the pressure was real.

Years later, I still see these quotes everywhere—on Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn—wrapped in aesthetically pleasing designs, urging us to push harder, be stronger, and never give up.

But lately, I’ve been wondering…

Should we really be driven by every motivational quote we read?

Honestly? No.

The Problem with “Never Give Up”

Life is unpredictable. It throws us setbacks, uncertainty, and detours—things we can’t always control. Yet, when we struggle, we often hear:

💬 “Everything happens for a reason.”
💬 “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
💬 “Never give up.”

But let’s pause for a second. How does that actually make us feel?

Do we feel heard?
Do we feel understood?
Do we actually feel better?

The phrase “Never give up” sounds empowering at first, but in reality, it often forces relentless positivity, making us feel like we must keep pushing forward—even when walking away might be the wiser choice.

In fact, research shows that this kind of toxic positivity can invalidate our struggles and discourage us from seeking support. It creates a culture where admitting failure or exhaustion feels like a personal weakness rather than a rational decision.

The Stigma of Quitting

There’s a stigma around quitting. Society often equates it with:

❌ Weakness
❌ Failure
❌ Lack of passion

But should it?

Because honestly, sometimes walking away isn’t failure—it’s self-awareness.

This reminds me of something Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist and one of my favorite thinkers, once said:

“Grit doesn’t mean keep doing the thing that’s failing. It means defining your dreams broadly enough that you can find new ways to pursue them when your first and second plans fail.”

As a kid, Grant dreamed of becoming an NBA player, but reality hit—he wasn’t going to be tall enough. But did he really “give up” on sports? No. Instead, he found another path—he became a junior Olympic springboard diver.

That’s the kind of flexibility and self-awareness we need more of.

Knowing When to Walk Away

The truth is, persistence is only valuable when it’s leading us somewhere meaningful.

Sometimes, quitting is the best decision we can make.

🚫 A project that drains you emotionally and never moves forward.
🚫 A job that no longer aligns with your values or strengths.
🚫 A workplace that is toxic and holds you back.

Giving Up Can Also Mean Growth

Let’s reframe what “giving up” can look like:

✅ It’s okay to shift your perspective.
✅ It’s okay to let go of something that no longer serves you.
✅ It’s okay to quit something that’s making you miserable.

I’ve personally experienced this.

🎵 I gave up piano lessons because my fingers weren’t long enough to reach further chords. But instead of forcing it, I found a traditional Thai instrument that I absolutely loved—and I mastered it.

🌍 I let go of my dream of becoming a diplomat because I realized my passion lay elsewhere. Instead, I shifted my energy toward a career where I can truly make an impact—serving humanity in a way that aligns with my values.

And you know what? Those decisions didn’t make me weak. They made me stronger.

Final Thought

I’m not saying we should stop using motivational quotes. They can be powerful reminders when we truly need encouragement.

But we should use them mindfully—not as rigid rules, but as tools for reflection. Instead of blindly pushing forward, we should pause, reassess, and trust ourselves to make the right choices.

One of my favorite quotes from Adam Grant sums this up beautifully:

“Don’t give up on your values, but be willing to give up on your plans.”

And maybe that’s the real lesson—not to never give up, but to never stop growing, evolving, and choosing what truly serves us.

What do you think?